Thursday, April 10, 2014

True McConaughey

I was watching True Detective the other night. Third episode. Maybe fourth. And I realised that:


1) I did not have a fricking clue WHAT was going on.
2) I was probably going to switch off.
3) McConaughey's done what most people say but is actually impossible: disappeared so far up inside his own arse he cannot - CANNOT - see the light.


There used to be a time when Matthew McConaughey could be relied upon to regularly serve up charming, romantically challenged losers who find redemption via a ghost/a very slim woman/to all-intents-and-purposes a hooker hired by his parents.  He woo-ed his adoring lady fanbase with his cheeky smile/bo-deeeee and turned up at premiers with his hair in all kinds of nonsense.

I'll have to admit I wasn't a fan of his romance films - he was brilliantly charming in Time To Kill - but I liked him and the little spark he bought to the screen.

What McConaughey did not do was method.

But then, someone showed a bit of interest in Mud and BANG the real McConaughey Show hit the road. Instead of a amusing charmbox, we've got a lizardy, humourless, self-lauding moron who thinks that if he says enough stuff with enough loaded pauses and a finger raised in the air, SOME of it's going to make sense.

I haven't seen Dallas Buyer's Club yet but I have seen Wolf and his cameo is great because it's funny and Matthew McConaughey keeps his top on and has mannequin hair. I have no issue with the roles he's playing or the fact that he's doing them well. I have an issue with the fact that now people are taking him seriously he has to take himself seriously.  I mean that's no fun at all. The guy made Ghosts of Girlfriends Past for God's sake: this dude is no Nobel Prize winner.

But he has won an Oscar.

And now we all have to know that McConaughey is an actor.

A sssserious actor.

His speeches throughout the Awards Season went from very sweet - his son told him he wouldn't win - to eye rolling - referencing his wife 'she told me: You get out there McConaughey. You get out there My King.' and the little nod to Jesus. To the hilarious Oscar's speech where he revealed his hero is ... him in a few years.

Which, when you think about it, isn't deep or cool. It's basically what people say after they've read a self-help book.

Which brings me back to True Detective.  Now I KNOW that McConnaughey is NOT Rusty.  He's playing a role. But the way he plays this makes me feel like he's really, fucking loving it. And that, boy, he wishes he could think half as deep as him. Rusty's scenes are so ponderous and pretentious I genuinely can't bring myself to pay any attention during them. He's self-satisfied and smug but, even worse, he's talking monkey nuts.  He's not cool. He's not smart. He's the epitome of every single basement-dwelling Internet Troll, emerging from the bottom of his mother's house to spray his contrived nonsense all over the naive, non-thinking world. It's just so fucking annoying to watch - SAYING THE WORLD IS SHIT AND EVERYONE DIES IS NOT AN INDICATION OF A DEPTH. No matter how many Camels you get through in 10 minutes or how little you care about your hair.


What Rusty's ramblings are is boring. But they're delivered in a way that we're supposed to think: wow, can that fucked-up cop think. And ever wow-er, can that boy act.

Maybe somewhere, deep down inside, McConnaughey: The Fun is still in there.  He's not morphed into this odd vainglorious dude lacking in any sense of humour. Because that drawly, cocky, charming schtick was what made him watchable, made him different, made him ... McConnaughey.  To modify, I understand, but to lose all together is a crime.

However, while we're on True Detective while I DO NOT like Rusty or his endless preaching, I DO like Woody's 1990s hair. I think he should go with it. It definitely beats his Hamish-Do.

1 comment:

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