Friday, May 24, 2013

FILMS: The Two Types of Women (according to Bromances)

Do not even get me STARTED on this:


I can only assume Grown Ups 2's subtitle is Men Rule! Women: Not So Much.

I haven't seen it. I mean, if I wanted to watch a bunch of privileged men shirking their responsibilities and being dicks all day, I'd watch Parliament TV.  But those WOMEN. My GOD. Those moany old sows being all annoyed at their fun-loving fellas. Poor men.

I'm guessing that film shares the same depth of female character development plumbed by THIS doozie:


It's a funny-ish film. I like Zac Gallaifliifjakis. I don't like how they leave their friend roasting on top of an hotel and I don't like the mess they leave behind.

But what I don't like the MOST is how they show women.  Yeah it's a bromance. I get that. Women aren't going to feature heavily and that's fine. But at least put some THOUGHT into those you do choose to feature. There's more to being a woman than being really, really nice and really, really horrible.  I know. SHOCKER.

First off Ed Helm's fiance is just despicable. She's mean-spirited, spoiled and generally a complete fucking bitch.


But what's this? A cute little lady who's super good fun but also happens to be an 'escort'?


Oh PURLEASE.  These are the laziest depictions of women in a film EVER.  It's like the writers have only seen two films: Porky's and Porky's 2.

I have absolutely no doubt that this is exactly how the character discussions for these two went:

'Right. So that's all the guys done. I guess we should look at the women.'

'God, I am dying for a drink. We've been in here for eight hours.'

'Five more minutes, guys. That's all.'

'Okaaay.'

'So Stu's going to marry this woman. But when he's in Vegas he gets drunk and ends up with someone completely different.  What do you think?'

'Hey. I know. Let's make his fiance a complete bitch so that everyone hates her and no-one feels sorry for her when Stu jilts her on her wedding day.'

'Genius! And we can have the other woman as an exotic dancer who may, or may not, be a hooker! But she's super sweet and innocent and only does it for cash for her baby.'

'I think we've nailed it fellas. Margaraitas back at mine?'

'I'll bring the blender!'

And the most depressing thing about it all is that Heather Graham looks so HAPPY about it.

GET SOME FUCKING IMAGINATION, WRITERS!

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