Popsicle

Ah, Channel 4's new series Baby Race started last night.

Oh, it's depressing in so may ways - the truth about fertility, the devastating anxiety and injustice of the adoption system. All very sad.

Then there's the woman who has gone down the artifical insemination route. Fair enough. Except that every shot of her that wasn't in her bathroom as she keened for ovulation was inside a Chiquitos, Frankie & Benny's or a Harvester. Let's face it: the child is doomed.

The future is clear. In 20 years time, her beloved child is going to be sipping Archers in the corner of some space-age Brannigans trying to pretend that the 55 year old woman standing on a table, exposing dog-earred breasts from an ill-fitting white boob-tube, bellowing for more Sinitta isn't its mum.

Oh, and did I mention that she's paying for her artificial insemination(£500 a pop) out of her bingo winnings?

You've gotta love her.