Monday, August 25, 2008

Stupid Adverts


Alright, it's not new, but the more I see of these adverts, the more I want to enter the Land of TV and kick their sets over shouting: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?


Because, it's like this: all jolly family scenes, set to faux-Damien Rice type, Lucky Jim's 'Your Lovely To Me' .  In this little medley, which includes toothless grandpas and babies, we find Little Tyke who hands his dad some toast that he's just wiped around some grass with his wellington boot, and enter Middle Class Kitchen where dad and 2.4 kids sit round the table awaiting the arrival of mum's sandwiches.  

This is when I begin to hate Kingsmill and all it stands for.  Seriously.  It's as bad as chuffing Mum's Gone To Iceland, which is unforgiveable, but this one's just that little bit more sinister, because it cloaks itself in humour.  Like painting a clown face on a missile.

See: mum makes the sandwiches and places them on the table for her hungry family.  They may as well be banging their cutlery on the table and shouting UG UG UG.

My other most hated scene: mum (sitting away from family on sensible picnic chair) pulls out the tupperwear full of homemade sandwiches for the family and hands them around (because they're incapable of putting their pampered little paws into a sandwich box and removing the bread triangles themselves) at which, Little Tyke thinks its hilarious - HI-LARIOUS - to pop his tomato bits into his sister's hood.

Now, let's look at it another way.  Would we ever see Sister do that?  No, because Sister is one pubic hair away from handing out sandwiches themselves.  Sister's too busy using the lid of the tupperwear as a plate to be up to tomfoolery.

So let's have a look at what Kingsmill thinks equals a Real Family:

Mum is the food machine who waits on her family.
All little brothers are naughty.
All sisters are good little girls.
Dads do nothing - their role is behind the scenes where they earn the money that bought the food that mother uses to feed her family.

Those advertising geniuses at Kingsmill must've been flying the day they came up with THAT innovative approach.

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